please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
