Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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