This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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