this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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