she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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