Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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