You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
