so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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