I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize