And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize