You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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