And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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