it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize