No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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