I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize