I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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