that's an acceptable place to lick
now i know why i became what i already was.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
