she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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