I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
