Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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