She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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