she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
