he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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