If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
