check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
