He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
