She announced her abortion via fbk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
