??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
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Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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