Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
did you just send me my own nude
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
