there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
