these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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