i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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