he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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