Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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