dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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