her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
