Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
