She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize