somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
