You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
