what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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