so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
