Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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