if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need a beard to bite.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
