tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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