I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
