If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
