Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
