im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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