If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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