I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Of course I have a pirate flag
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
