So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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