I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize