new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
never play flip cup with pint glasses
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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