so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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