Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
