You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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