p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
