I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
