yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My penis needs a shock collar
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