do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
