the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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