Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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