i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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