Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
