she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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