my mouth tastes like poor choices
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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